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最終更新日 : 2012/01/30 (Mon) 08:09
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最終更新日 : 2012/01/30 (Mon) 08:09
最終更新日 : 2012/01/30 (Mon) 08:09
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C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
When I die I\'m going to leave my body to science fiction.
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Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law\'s peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
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For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
I\'m all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let\'s start with typewriters.
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, \'Why god? Why me?\' and the thundering voice of God answered, \'There\'s just something about you that pisses me off.\'
I have an existential map; it has \'you are here\' written all over it.
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
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They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
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Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they\'re yours.
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As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air ? however slight ? lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
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Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
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Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
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I don\'t care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
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I don\'t believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.
I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
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The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
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When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, \'Why god? Why me?\' and the thundering voice of God answered, \'There\'s just something about you that pisses me off.\'
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Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
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The difference between \'involvement\' and \'commitment\' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was \'involved\' - the pig was \'committed\'.
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> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
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I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I\'ve only ever had one.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can\'t it get us out?
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it\'s more likely to be female.
I don\'t know why we are here, but I\'m pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
A hen is only an egg?s way of making another egg.
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
If you can\'t get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you\'d best teach it to dance.
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Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.
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We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other\'s children.
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
If it wasn\'t for lawyers, we wouldn\'t need them.
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don\'t add up.
A physicist is an atom\'s way of knowing about atoms.
I\'m not a member of any organized political party, I\'m a Democrat!
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
If everything seems under control, you\'re just not going fast enough.
I\'m all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let\'s start with typewriters.
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I\'m not sure about the former.
When you\'ve seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
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We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other\'s children.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
I\'ve never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I\'ve seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.
You\'ll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI?!
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
Why don\'t you write books people can read?
Maybe this world is another planet\'s Hell.
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
A man\'s only as old as the woman he feels.
War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.
Heav\'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn\'d, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn\'d.
Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I\'m not there, I go to work.
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.
I\'m Jewish. I don\'t work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
They couldn\'t hit an elephant at this dist--
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
Research is what I\'m doing when I don\'t know what I\'m doing.
Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: \'Can I help, sir?\' \'No thanks,\' says the blind bloke. \'Just looking.\'
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I\'ve had a wonderful time, but this wasn\'t it.
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he\'ll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
I never forget a face, but in your case I\'ll be glad to make an exception.
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
I don\'t believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
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The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said \'You\'ve been promoted\'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said \'You\'ve been promoted again\'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said \'You\'re managing director.\' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said \'What happened to you?\' And I Said \'I careered off the road.\'
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Mit der Dummheit k?mpfen G?tter selbst vergebens
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
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Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
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There\'s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that\'s ok because you\'ll be a mile away from him and you\'ll have his shoes.
Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn\'t it.
Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
If it wasn\'t for C, we\'d be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn\'t it.
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, \'Why god? Why me?\' and the thundering voice of God answered, \'There\'s just something about you that pisses me off.\'
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Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they\'re eating sandwiches.
We didn\'t lose the game; we just ran out of time.
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
I am not young enough to know everything.
If it weren\'t for electricity we\'d all be watching television by candlelight.
I don\'t pray because I don\'t want to bore God.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.
Honolulu, it\'s got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife\'s mother.
I don\'t know why we are here, but I\'m pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
Hofstadter\'s Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter\'s Law.
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
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The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
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C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
They couldn\'t hit an elephant at this dist--
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
I\'m desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
Men have become the tools of their tools.
All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
Hofstadter\'s Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter\'s Law.
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/29/(Sun) 07:50
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